Messages…multiple a day.

From suitors with rings on their fingers,

Hoping for some excitement in their mundane lives.

They don’t all have rings, but a lot of them do.

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Meanwhile, the man without the ring, the one I want,

Refuses to message me…isn’t interested.

Able to get the excitement he wants from those not looking for something serious.

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Men who are spoken for but seeking another,

They are the definition of a coward

Because what they do requires no risk.

If I reciprocate their advances, they get what they want…attention, affection, excitement, sex…for a brief moment, with no commitment.

If I reject them, they can easily blame it on the fact that they are married…and then go back to their unhappy lives, without carrying the weight of said rejection.

The messages, compliments, and attention are not even flattering; they are insulting and exhausting because these men didn’t go out on a limb, they took the safe route and put me in an awkward position.

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I sit in the middle…the guy I want on one side, the guys who pursue me with selfish interests on the other.

After past mistakes from long ago, I promised myself I would never be with a married man.

All I want is to find the one who is willing to take a true risk with me,

The one who is willing to put himself out there on that ledge and put in the time to get to know me, risk rejection, risk pain and hurt…

But possibly gain the love of a lifetime.

I want the risk taker…not the coward.

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If you have a ring, honor it.

If you want out, be a stand up human and face the inevitable consequences…stay and work through it or get out…but leave me alone. I don’t want you.

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I am not really a believer in marriage these days.

Legally, it is a financial contract, nothing more.

I can commit to someone without the legalities.

Spiritually-speaking, seeking another is a breach of trust and a violation of what I believe to be the sacredness of love and commitment.

With or without the ring, I would never want to be with someone who can’t honor that commitment until it is finished and both people have worked through their issues, together and individually.

I don’t despise them; they simply aren’t on the same level as me.

They still have work to do on themselves.

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Supposedly, one of the great ironies of love and life are that we always want the one we can’t have.

I don’t actually believe this.

I have fallen for a few who didn’t ultimately reciprocate,

But that is inevitable.

It’s part of the process, the game of love.

We have to take risks in love.

If love was easy to find, it wouldn’t hold the appreciation that it deserves.

Real authentic love is rare and precious.

I may never find it.

I am prepared for that, but at least I didn’t settle for only companionship or a sugar daddy or anything less than truth, passion, intimacy, vulnerability, and sacred love.

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You know where I won’t find it?

From a married man.