The following letter to my daughter is something I wrote back in January of 2012. A friend of mine triggered my memory of it, so I went online to find it. It came from a private blog that I kept from 2009 to 2013 while going through my separation and divorce (so a couple years past my divorce as well). That blog is where I processed my emotions and thoughts at the time, just one example of what helped me through a difficult time. Since that blog isn’t public (and never will be), I wanted to publish the letter here for when my daughter is older.

I remembered it because my friend had asked me who my audience is when I write. That is an easy question for me to answer. I write for my daughter…everything I write is a legacy to her. I always try to hold myself accountable to her, telling her the truth about me, about life, about love, about everything. One day I will no longer be around, and I want her to have a record of my thoughts, my stances, and my love for her. I write because I have to, but my primary audience is her…Ashley Kristin.

Here is my letter to Ashley written when she was only six years old:

I am not really sure what to write about tonight, but I just feel like writing.  There are some things on my mind all of which I have written about at one time or another, but as I think about those friends and loved ones who are struggling right now I am reminded of how I want to live my life and what I want to teach my daughter.  In short…

Be who you are, and be that person loudly and unforgivingly.  Smile, dance, run, play, be happy.  Work hard and set aside time for yourself to do what you love.  Spend time with family.  Love wildly and passionately.  Don’t settle, and be bold.  Set goals high and reach as far as you can reach…then reach farther because you can do it.  Never give up on the people and dreams you believe in.  Have faith in life and be patient with the process.  Try new things and travel to new places.  Live for the adventure.  Realize that there will be ups and downs but the ups outweigh the downs and every down has a lesson tied to it.  Be cognizant of that lesson and be thankful for it.  Express gratitude for everything in your life.  Pay it forward and give with a whole heart.  Educate yourself and always be open-minded.  We can’t possibly understand what it is like to walk in another’s shoes…so, again, always be open-hearted and forgiving as well.  Ask for help when you need it and be willing to help others who can’t always help themselves.  Be brave, don’t fear, be kind, love endlessly.  Find yourself before you find someone else.  Question everything and follow your intuition.  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  You are a survivor and a leader.  You carve your own path.  Have faith in your abilities and walk the path that speaks to you.  Know that things will always be alright as long as you are true to yourself.

Love,

Mommy