Here is the reason it is so important to write: I am reading a book where a woman describes her experience in a marriage, and it is identical to what I was feeling in my marriage.

“Where is the line? When you want the life you have to work but it doesn’t, and you aren’t sure it can, and when you want a completely different life, too, which way do you go? Do I stay and rub myself out until maybe I am the person I was always expected to be? Is this just what it means to be an adult? How long do you try?”

I tried for ten years until I rebelled and sabotaged my own marriage. I don’t recommend sabotage, but sometimes that is what it takes. In my case, it took something drastic to make me finally accept that it was my marriage that wasn’t working…not my job, not the town we lived in or the house we resided in…it was the marriage that was not working. I hate failure. I was always an overachiever. I worked hard at things. I didn’t fail at things, certainly not marriage. I was a good person. I wasn’t someone who divorces and breaks up a home. These are the things I told myself in order to stay…until I couldn’t anymore.

What I have learned over the years since is that all relationships evolve into what they are destined to be. There is no shame in that. We all grow at different rates, sometimes towards each other and sometimes in a different direction towards something or someone else. This is the natural evolution and unveiling of life. To those couples who stay together throughout life, that’s great! That worked for you. To those who can’t stay in it, it takes bravery to walk away and admit when something isn’t working. It is for the best and it is perfectly okay. Give yourself permission to seek out your best life. If you stumble or make mistakes, well…that’s life. We all do…but it is mistakes that make us wise, empathetic, and fully human.

So why do I write? So others can learn from or identify with my experiences…my struggles. It is also very cathartic…but sharing our stories is important. We are all more similar than different, we share similar struggles, and we can learn from each other. Thank God for books and thank God for brave souls who put their stuff out there. We need to hear from you…all of you. Sometimes seeing ourselves in others, and observing how they deal with situations, can serve to give us permission to do the seemingly unthinkable and free ourselves from self-imposed burdens.