There’s a tension.

A fight between shutting down and staying open.

Getting close, not a good idea.

Sabotage seems the better option.

Masking with humor and alcohol,

A far cry from true intimacy.

Seeking connection, I keep trying.

And then I seclude myself, trapped in my head,

Making excuses or reasons it can’t work.

“Let it be”…always the goal, never the reality.

Fight for control, a continuous war within my being.

My destiny is single-hood it seems,

Unless I can drop my armor and trust the process.

This is my life’s lesson.

My world, my work, my Truth…

All bullshit without trust and vulnerability.

Cut the cord of illusory control.

There is no such thing.

Bind yourself in change,

For that is what’s most consistent.

Life is not machines,

It’s poetry.

And we cannot expect poetry to work like levers and pulleys.

Be a good human.

Put out goodness and love in the world.

Recognize the bounty as it comes to you,

But know it won’t come in the package you expect…ever.

Appreciate this life and show gratitude,

And be content in the moment.

That’s it. That’s the answer.

Give love and give thanks.

❤️