Your silence is my prison.

I seek answers and validation.

I won’t find them here with you.

What I find instead is vacant, vapid air standing in as oxygen,

Feeding my lungs with black soot until I cough up the corroded stain that was supposed to be Iove.

Sometimes I wonder if love isn’t actually hell, with its suffocating unpredictability and its ability to destroy us if lost or never found.

Maybe Eve bit that Apple to escape love and its treacherous consequences.

Maybe Adam rejected her and so she sought her own fate.

Whatever love is, I won’t find it among those seduced by a golden statue or capitalistic ventures.

I won’t find it near those in search of profit over relationships.

What I sought from you I never would find.

So I broke free from your cell of delusions in order to find myself again…

The self who knows her worth, and it doesn’t include a price sheet, fore she is priceless.

The air I breathe up here is pure and clean and filled with endless possibilities that will ensure a fate of love and contentment.

My own seductive apple is calling me,

Willing me to take a bite…and another chance on myself.

I was once lost and then found,

Lost again, and then found again.

Until I can find the one in which I don’t lose my self,

I am destined to be alone.

But alone is freedom.

Your silence no longer tempts my incarceration.

Instead I blast my music and move my body to its natural beat,

Remembering that love isn’t supposed to hurt or be confusing.

It isn’t supposed to resemble hell.

It will find me when I can be found dancing in the rain, raising my head to the sky in pure gratitude for the chance to be alive and free and untamed.