Gen Xer here.

Veteran of mailing letters and slowly, painstakingly seducing pen pals with my intrigue.

Phones with twisted cords, parents mediating calls.

Waiting a week for photos of my vacation to develop only to find half of them actually useable.

Seeking camaraderie, I venture outside my stoop into my neighborhood to find a pick-up basketball or kickball game.

 

My daughter, the iGen or Gen Z girl.

iMessages and Snap Chats rule the instant communication and gratification,

Sneaking a peek at her phone to be sure nothing shady is going on, not really knowing who her friends are.

Selfies and digital images that instantaneously appear and disappear, no real sense of gratification or understanding for the art of photography.

Seeking friendship through a headset whilst manipulating animation on a screen, all from the comfort of the couch.

 

Gen Z is more connected to people and the world than ever before;

Yet there is more depression and loneliness than ever before.

As a Gen Xer, I came of age during the disillusionment of the grunge era (projecting the image of depression and loneliness), yet I felt more connected to others than I do now.

At least back then we were still connected by music, commonality, and authenticity.

In today’s social media world, everything is manufactured. No one feels commonality because instead of hanging out on the corner listening to the latest Nirvana album, kids are feeling inadequate from their peers with their “perfect” bodies and their “perfect” lives, masked by editing and filters, the pressure to be flawless validated by image after image of fake capitalist motivations to strive for more and expect instant glory.

 

In the midst of this chaos is my daughter, a truly authentic, pristine, angsty teenager seeking validation and belonging, but also not willing to betray her integrity and her uniqueness.

She’s brave, that one. She is thoughtful, smart, kind, and patient. She’s courageous.

She stands on her own…doing what she wants without feeling pressure to conform to that commercial bullshit.

How did I raise this oddity, this statue of nonconformity…this plain Jane seeking no attention but committed to her own way…which ironically makes her opposite of plain.

I am not sure, but I want to keep her this way forever…away from the stress and lies that society will throw at her when she enters the real world.

 

As for me, I could take a lesson from that beautiful creature.

I came across a hand-written letter today that she wrote for a friend and planned on giving them (not sure if Corry is a boy or a girl since her friends are mostly boys).

This letter was a thank you letter, since the friend had apparently never received one.

She went out of her way to write (not type) this friend a letter, and told the friend how amazing and how meaningful they were to my daughter.

Meanwhile, I spend so much time in my head, I forget to appreciate those I should.

I certainly don’t write them letters…like I used to do as a kid.

 

Innocence is lost at a younger and younger age as generations go by.

And my daughter has become more aware of “real life” issues at a younger age than most since she is an only child and we are pretty open with her.

Yet, somehow she is navigating this brave new world we live in with grace and sincerity.

I spend a lot of time worrying about her, but she is actually quite amazing.

I am the one who seems to need that guidance…and sometimes, because she is young and thinks in simpler ways, she gives me good advice…she simplifies it down to its core.

 

There is a lot we can learn from our children. Many times they know better than us what the answer is. My daughter is no exception. She is finding her way, like all of us did. She is taking care of shit as it is thrown at her. We all do…but I am in awe of her…this child I created and am attempting to raise. Maybe she is raising me…in many ways she is.

Children are intuitive and wise creatures if we actually listen to them and give them a platform.

My Ash…she drives me crazy. She’s stubborn, she’s willful, she’s in the midst of teenage drama, but…she’s becoming…and from what I can tell, she is gonna be just fine…better than fine. She won’t compromise herself for anything, and that’s all I can ask. So I am going to do the thing I don’t do enough…give myself a pat on the back. Well done, Mom.