Love never looks the way you expect it to. It never comes in the pretty wrapped packages that you want. Love comes barreling in, masked as those you want to fight and resist. Love reaches into your self and twists and turns in discomfort and confusion. Only when you let go and stop controlling do you let that strain and resistance melt away to reveal the beautiful flower that began as a seed…a seed that could have turned sour. A seed that craved the life of water, a symbol for the life that love brings. Love is not a commitment. Love is an act. It holds no promises or expectations. It simply exists through the actions of another. You recognize it because all of a sudden there is trust in that person. You begin to reach to them out of necessity, not out of longing. You no longer care what their wrapping looks like. You only want to get to the center where the truth lies. Those people in my life who love me…they love me despite my neuroses, maybe even because of them. They love me because they see me for who I am, but also for who I am meant to be but haven’t quite yet found. I know them because I never ever doubt their ability to be present without something in return. Love needs no commitment when love is present. Those who love me will always love me. Their love is not conditional. Because of that unconditional love, I have no fear of loss and no need to force grand gestures. Love isn’t a grand gesture. Love exists in the small moments when no one is looking, when you are at your lowest or your highest or somewhere in between, but the subtleties go missed by those not in the know. Love is found in all genders and colors, all socioeconomic standings and education levels. Love is discovered through communication and open-mindedness, conversation and time. The gift of someone’s time is the foundation for love. Time to connect, not time to date or sleep or be physical. It is the time that is stolen in small moments of listening and exchanging ideas, of laughing and taking care to apologize when feelings are hurt. It is giving that time and space to say the things that need to be said…or just want to be said. Love is not silence unless the need for silence is agreed upon. Love is not space unless the need for space is communicated. Love is respect and dignity, free from contempt. Love…it isn’t pretty. It isn’t passionate. It isn’t fluttery. It isn’t boastful. Love is patient, constant, steadfast, kind…love is belief, belief in oneself and belief in the other. Love is predictable but dependable. I have a few loves in my life, and I am fully confident they know who they are. They are forever loves. They don’t require declarations or ceremonies because the love is understood, and the level of respect is unending. 
I recently said that I was in desperate need of intimacy with a man…the romantic kind. Though I think it is important to acknowledge this feeling and to honor it, I also think it is an illusion. I have all the intimacy I need among the loves in my life who are spread across this country. Maybe one will end up in a commitment of sorts. I don’t know. I can’t predict the future. Timing is a lot of it. But the love has always been right here, inside me and spread out among my past and my present…and most certainly my future. The universe requires it. One of my loves is my soul sister…she believes we were born of the same star. I believe her…because we are connected in unspeakable ways and because I trust her wisdom. We were meant to meet and to exist within each other’s sphere of influence. Why? Because love just is. There is no point in explaining it. There is only a point of embracing it. It sheds the fear and allows space for creation, art, innovation, connection, liberation, contentment. Love isn’t forced. It is easy because it is real. There is no other kind of love. So stop fighting it. Say it and be it. Love will change you for the better…if you let it in without the pretense or the analysis. Let it be. ❤